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Seems like I was walking in the wrong direction
I barely recognize my own reflection, no
Scared of love but scared of life alone

Seems I’ve been playing on the safe side baby
Building walls around my heart to save me,
But it’s time for me to let it go

[youtube http://youtu.be/PgWPCSg974o]

I believe everyone comes into your life for a reason. I believe that we come across all kinds of different people who’ve had different experiences and we are to learn from them just as much as they learn from us. What is life but a learning experience? I also believe that the ones that stay in your life are the ones that are meant to. Some people come in for a certain period of time and you move on eventually once you’ve learnt what God intended for you to learn from them. It’s harder to let go of some than others but that’s where circumstances and life take over and you have to no choice but to let go and just …learn about what they brought to your life and what you can take from that lesson on to improve yourself as well your life.

Some come into our lives to teach us about love, some to teach us not to lose hope, some to teach us that there is still bad in the world, and some to remind us that good still remains.

I believe. I really do.

But sometimes, just when you think life’s going to give you a break from all those lessons and just give you what you are meant to have …the love you deserve… it completely turns you around. Who doesn’t like surprises, right? Well, Life, let me tell you: Nobody likes bad surprises.

It’s like a constant test of strength; from one circumstance to the next. WHAT the HELL!

So let’s look at the positive side then? God decided that it was time to throw in a dash of hope. He thought, well she’s losing hope and I must remind her that she doesn’t need to. I needed to be reminded that the world hadn’t ended. I needed to be reminded that I don’t need to settle for less than the respect I deserve, the care I deserve, the love I deserve. I needed to be reminded that there are still a few good men out there. And so he orchestrated a chance encounter. He, being the all knowing, knew that free will would take it from there.

But, may I remind You that, You, being the all knowing, also know who I am. You know how I feel, how I have always felt. You also know him. You are the one that was prayed to all those nights when I felt completely alone. You are the one who was asked for a chance encounter. You are the one who was begged to for the hurt to stop. You are the one who was asked to send to me my true love, my soul mate.

Yet, I was sent what? Hope? So that’s it then. So let me ask You this. Is hope all I deserve? Is the love that I deserve what I already received.

Am I one of those lucky or unlucky souls however you want to look at it, who managed to find love so early in life and to lose it all the same?

I guess I should be grateful. You gave me love and you always manage to send me hope right before I fall off the deep end: Always, just enough to stay afloat. Maybe I am to blame. Maybe I am the one who self sabotages everything.

Sometimes though, even with all the oxygen You surround me with, I just can’t manage to breath.

I’m sorry for whatever this soul did in a past life or this one to incur such tests of faith. I will and always do, still have You.

[youtube http://youtu.be/eM213aMKTHg]