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After the accident, for the longest time, I used to have nightmares. The nightmares would vary from car accidents to plane crashes. The result was always the same – fearing the loss of you. Your accident shook me to my core and after that, the fear of losing you would haunt me relentlessly.

You are gone. I lost you long ago. Then why?

I was abducted and taken to this spacious room with darkened windows and mattresses next to the walls. There were a lot of people huddled all around the room as if in great fear. I was thrown toward the far corner from the door and they left, closing the door shut behind them. I looked to my right and to my utter shock and horror, I found you sitting there on the mattress. You seemed less afraid than the rest but the others thought you were foolish to not be afraid. And then all of a sudden, you had done something that angered our captors and before you could notice me, they came in to drag you away.

When they came in, the boy on my right was so scared. He mumbled under his breath about how stupid you were for speaking up and how badly they would hurt you now. And as the room became darker and the windows became darker, my fear for your safety grew. I sat there scared out of my mind for what they might do to you and looked for ways to escape and save you. There was no escape.

Yet, they brought you back and threw you in. You seemed terrified yet I saw no injury, no bruises. You started crouching back into the wall in fear and I went to you to try to help you. I had to find out if you were okay. I had to help you if you were hurt. Even if you didn’t want me to, I had to save you.

‘The dream interpretation of kidnapping as a dream symbol is most easily understood based on the person that is being kidnapped. According to most dream interpretations, when you dream that you are being kidnapped, this is related to feelings of censorship, and a lack of expression. Perhaps this dream is paralleling some situation/ difficulties in your daily life or relationship. Alternatively, it suggests that a part of your self is not being fully expressed.

While seeing someone else kidnapped in a dream might signify that you feel that person is in danger.’

I’m standing in front of a cashier counter with my passport and documents in hand. My Mum is behind me, waiting. I’m waiting for the guy behind the counter to give me my visa for Dubai or the UAE. Next thing I know, you come up, stand next to me and ask him for your visa for Canada. You don’t notice me.

The thought of you not even seeing me hits me and I fall back.

The second wave – you are about to leave the country and I’ll never see you again – I fall back …further. I hit the wall trying to catch my breath.

The whole time, I am powerless. You don’t even see me. You are stone cold and all of a sudden it is like watching it all through a glass wall. Paralysed by the fear that you’ll leave and fall through the cracks of this world; I’ll never see you again.

Generally, dream interpretation suggests that dreaming about an ex-lover has to do with ‘incompletions with this person that need to be resolved within the dreamer before he/ she is truly free to move on to a new relationship.’ The other interpretation was that ‘the ex-lover is thinking about the dreamer intensely, and projecting telepathic messages towards her which she receives in her dreams.’ I’m going to take a wild guess and say that part isn’t true. Ha ha.

As for interpretation regarding travel, ‘all dreams involving travel boil down to one thing: a wish to leave your current situation.’

I guess no matter how far or how long, it all comes back to the same thing. Even till date, all I am is just scared. Scared as hell ..for you.

Funny thing is that it makes no sense. I have nothing left to lose.

Our Lives, most dear, are never near,
Our thoughts are never far apart,
Though all that draws us heart to heart
Seems fainter now and now more clear.
Tonight Love claims his full control,
And with desire and with regret
My soul this hour has drawn your soul
A little nearer yet.

– Dante Gabriel Rossetti, Insomnia