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October 24th Scorpio

July 21, 2012 to July 23, 2012

That internal tension you’re feeling could all too easily translate into an irresistible urge to: a) unceremoniously quit your job; b) tell off that unappreciative fool you’re seeing or c) move to Sri Lanka (or anywhere you’re sure no one knows your name). What to do? Try some exercise (mental or physical)!

I feel like I’m about to burst! From having to control myself repeatedly: I feel like I’m truly being tested in this religious month. This is despite the fact that I haven’t even started fasting yet!

First, to hold back. I’m an impulsive, expressive person. I act on my emotions, I follow my impulses and I usually don’t hold back if I don’t want to hold back. To have to act a certain way, and to see where it’s going to lead …to already know that I won’t be happy with the consequences, it’s driving me insane. I hate this. And I hate my luck. I’m slowly getting freed of his grasp and yet I can’t help it. I can’t help my freedom; either it will come to a complete halt or it’ll keep happening but stick me with another sucky situation where again, I get to sit and watch from the sidelines as fate plays with my for it’s own amusement.

And then, to be accused of something I didn’t nor would I ever do!? I feel so insulted. It felt like 2005 all over again. The only difference? I’m not a child nor naive anymore. I’ve learnt to fight and I don’t and won’t sit back and just take it. Move to Sri Lanka? How about Thailand? Or Australia? Or Bali? Or Hawaii!? This is what loyalty and honesty gets you? False accusations with any smidgen of trust thrown out the window in a split second? Then why bother being loyal at all? Why should I be honest at all? It’s not getting me anywhere.

Ugh. So then the dilemma? It’s in my damn personality to be honest, loyal, committed. When I commit to something, I see it through no matter what. It’s a matter of principle. It’s a matter of my pride, my ego. I will see it through because I gave my word, I implied my commitment.


July 21, 2012 to July 23, 2012

Leave your nails alone. If you focus, you’ll be able to find a far more productive outlet for that considerable supply of nervous energy you’re packing.

This pent up energy needs an outlet. I couldn’t agree more.