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It’s not fair what you did. To approach me like that when I’m in such a state and look into me – yes, not just into my eyes – into me, and smile the way you used to. And then to pout the way you used to. To use that on me as if it’s something cheap you pass around with every girl. For me it was a memory of love. And for you it’s a toy?

And to lie in another’s arms and see your face, your smile, the twinkle in your eyes as you met me, looked at me: it’s downright torture. There are little dark brown flecks in your puppy dog brown eyes. Did you know that? And when you look at me a certain way, the lighter brown in your eyes catches the light in a way that your eyes sparkle. And when you asked me, they twinkled at me. And when you pouted, my heart stopped as if I had been taken back in time. You don’t think I see you watching me? You think I don’t feel your eyes on me as you pass by me? You were watching me. I don’t understand how you can watch me and still feel so numb. If I dared to keep my eyes on you, I’d lose the ground beneath my feet.

You look stunning tonight. I bet he’s jealous.

And maybe it was my state, maybe it was that my eyes were aware of all the little details one misses out on in this world, but I saw them twinkle. And I saw my love again.

It got so bad that your expression, your twinkle, the puppy dog pout, it wouldn’t leave me alone. You face haunted me. It still haunts me. And the only thing that made it stop …I guess I finally cleansed my palette. I won’t lie, I fought and I fought hard to prevent that from happening. And I thought I had already tried and failed. But somehow, most unexpectedly, my palette managed to cleanse itself. And you’re not the only one. And to my surprise, it felt good. And that guilt I felt with them earlier, as if I betrayed you, there was no hint of it.

But still, there’s those little brown flecks, that twinkle as you smile, that puppy dog pout. I’m sure I’m wrong, but I thought I heard you say Boo. You probably didn’t, I must be mistaken. But I can hear it even now, just as clearly as it would be if you were sitting right beside me. And I can see your smile as you walked behind us. You caused me to almost fall into his arms, and when I turned, you smiled at me. That night, in just three simple moments, I felt a fire I haven’t felt since February 2011. I felt it when you came up to me. I felt it when you almost bumped into me. And I felt it when you walked by me and turned back to watch me with fascination. You always watched me in a way as if I was some fascinating creature that God had dropped into your lap. And your fascination had made me fall more in love with you.

You were wearing the shirt I gave you. I always loved you in black. And especially in white.

Before, I always thought I was imagining it and that you weren’t actually watching me the way I felt you were. I was wrong. He noticed it too. He saw you watch me. He saw it again and again with each time you turned back. Even he saw it. Don’t you think it’s time you do too?

Or am I always going to be haunted by those little dark brown flecks, in those puppy dog brown eyes.

A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it’s you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart.

– Unknown

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