“You’re beautiful,” he said. And as I smiled he asked, “do you know that?”
In that moment, the last moment that I should have thought of you, I smiled because I remembered how that was something you used to say in the same exact situation. And in that moment, my world shook. I had to turn off my emotions. The thought that it was him and not you was unbearable. From that moment on, I wasn’t a person. From that moment, it all meant nothing. I felt …nothing.
I guess that’s why it’s hard to recall what happened. And the parts I can remember, I block out. It’s all just a little too unbearable. Thinking about it all reminds me of the girl I was before you came into my life. And what scares me is that I don’t want to turn into her again. I never thought losing you would take me back to her. But all it took …was that one night.
To go back to feeling nothing and always searching for something. You walked in and made me realize that it wasn’t me, it was them …it was about love. I can never go back to feeling nothing. Not after I have felt. Not after what I know I can feel. Not after I know how it’s supposed to feel. Not after I have felt …complete
So I’ll watch a life in pictures
Like I used to watch you sleep
And I’ll feel you forget me
Like I used to feel you breathe