You were right to say that the person I knew then is long gone. You have changed. The person I knew wasn’t selfish to the point of sadism.
You tell me I need to let you go. And when you falter, when you’re honest, I get my reason and I set you free. Then why must you come back to me acting like an innocent little boy who has no idea what’s going on?
You once told me we could never be friends. I finally believe you. It’s just the denial wearing off. To be madly in love with someone for almost three years, get to the point where you’re looking at engagement rings and making the families meet, and then for it to end. There’s too much history. But you should understand that better than anyone. You were the one who said it to me.
Yet you keep coming back …like a moth to a flame? Or do you see an old toy that you think you might want to play with now and then, on the side?
Am I your toy? Do you think it’s okay to tell someone who used to be “the love of your life” (words first uttered by you) about someone else that you now miss terribly and have realised that you love? I let you go. I gave you everything you asked the same way I used to when we were together. When I said I loved you, I meant it with every fibre in my being.
And now when I say I pity you, I mean it with all the sorrow my love can feel for you. I knew your faults. I’ve always known you inside out. What I didn’t know, was that you are capable of cruelty.
And the games you play, you forget, I was never very good at staying under your thumb.
You forget …I was a person. Not your “mantel piece”.
Neither was I nor will I ever be, your play thing.